Gaius's Partay!
by fortheloveofcamelot
Summary: IT'S TIME TO PARTY - Gaius style! When Gaius throws a party he tells EVERYONE...  everyone, except Merlin it seems  leading to a fine string of events in which everyone's lives change forever  or primarily just for the weekend...
1. A GaiusStyle Partay!

_Disclaimer: No, I don't own Merlin - we all know who owns Merlin... *cough* God *cough* I mean the BBC... (and for those that said 'Arthur', don't get me started...) _

**Howdy Folks! Simona here with another random and weird (and not exactly wonderful) fic!**

**How did this fic come about? Well... **

***Magical memory music, fade in***

**Once upon a time in the magical land of the Scots, the 3 girls of **fortheloveofcamelot** were walking around lunchtime talking about their favourite tv series: Merlin. What started off as a harmless banter-filled conversation all too soon turned into this fic... _little did they know what they had unleashed into the unsuspecting fan-fiction world..._**

***Magical memory music fades out...***

**So, I can't take full credit as Eleanor and Catherine, my lovely co-writers, played a major part in the making of this fic. (Love you guys!)**

**Oh! It's set after Season 3 so there might be some spoilers... (sorry to all the people out there that haven't seen Season 3 (it's awesome..))**

* * *

As the day came to a close and the citizens of Camelot recoiled from the streets and into their humble homes, Merlin had finished the last of his chores, feeling sweaty and grimy; he looked forward to kicking back and relaxing in his room. He rounded the corner and walked along the corridor which led to his chambers.

That was when he heard it.

The pounding, thumping blare of music coming from the far end of the hallway; where his chambers were. As he drew closer, the drumming bass of music echoing along the hall, he saw two burly guards standing in front of the door, arms folded, with red lipstick kisses on their cheeks. Upon seeing Merlin, they moved aside and gave him a nod.

_What the…_

He walked in: the beat of the music hitting him in the heart, as did the musky, smoky air and the sounds of many, many merry people rejoicing; smoking, drinking, laughing. Everywhere he looked he saw men staggering, flourishing their tankards from side to side in a drunken sing-along; wenches dancing on tables, ruffling their skirts and kicking their legs in wild abandon; men smoking things which gave off strange blue, green and purple gases and, the _scariest_ sight of all, was his uncle surrounded by a cluster of people chanting, "Chug! Chug! Chug!" as he downed, from what he could tell by the empty glasses on the table beside him, his 15th tumbler of ale.

"Merlin!" he cheered when he saw him, amongst the mist, he stumbled over and then took the huge, stout, beardy man _next_ to Merlin into a hug, "My goodness, Merlin, you've gotten bigger…"

"Uh, Gaius…" he tapped his Uncle on the shoulder, "I'm Merlin!"

Gaius pulled away and looked at him perplexedly, "Move boy!" he instructed before shoving Merlin aside, allowing a gang of men rolling a keg of beer into the musty room.

"Where do you want it, G-Man?"

_G-Man? Who was G-Man?_ Merlin thought.

"Um, just put it… over there." Gaius pointed to the far end of the room where more barrels were waiting to be popped open and drunk.

_Gaius was G-Man?_ _Oh, lord…_

They continued to roll the keg and Gaius turned round to look at Merlin. He gasped.

"Could it be…" he grabbed Merlin by the shoulders, looking at him like he was scrutinising himself in a mirror, "I'm… young again! My youth, it has returned!" he jumped up and down, clapping his hands madly. He wouldn't admit it but the idea that Gaius looked like him when he was younger chilled him to the bone.

"Gaius" he took him by the shoulders, "I'm Merlin, your apprentice."

"Oh." His face pulled down, but he still had a foggy, blurry mist over his eyes so he wasn't sure if Gaius had taken in anything he had said.

"Now what is all… _this_?" he indicated to all the 'festivities'.

But Gaius's attention was averted and he took a fez off of a man walking past at that exact moment, revealing a rounded tuft of hair that the fez concealed perfectly.

Placing the fez on his silvery hair he yelled, "Now I'm you!" and pointing to the merry man in question, "And you're me!"

They laughed heartily, pulling faces at each other, trying to mimic each others voices.

"No, wait!" Gaius suddenly exclaimed, placing the fez on Merlin's head, "Now you're him, I'm you and you're me!" he said as he pointed to each member in turn.

"I'm _Merlin_," Gaius began, in a high pitched voice that seemed unnatural coming from his mouth, but he soon gave up the charade and began to hoot, the other man joining him.

Placing the fez back onto the shaking head of the owner, realising that his uncle was too far gone to give him any rational answers, Merlin walked over to a table away from Gaius and sat down.

_Seriously, what was going on?_

"Hellloooo.." leered a 'curvy', curly-haired wench beside him, leaning over the table provocatively.

"Um, hello" he shuffled away from her slightly, unnerved by her presence.

"Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Uh, I don't think so…" he looked at her again and he had a feeling he had seen her somewhere before too…

"Yes, I have! I remember! You came into my tavern with the Prince and caused that fight… You're very strong…" She stroked his shoulder, purring.

Merlin also remembered her – she was the wench which had complimented him on his looks. He pulled her hand off and stood up.

"Well… it was nice meeting you again…" he quickly turned around before that woman pounced on him – _could this get any weirder?_

Lost in his puzzling thoughts, he didn't notice the knight walking in the other direction until he nearly knocked Merlin off his feet.

"Oh, sorry… wait, Merlin?" the knight spoke as he helped keep Merlin steady.

It was Gwaine.

"Gwaine!" he greeted the man before getting into the questions he really wanted to be answered, "What is going on? Why are you here? Why is _everyone _here?"

"Woah, Merlin, calm down, it's just a par-_tay"_

"A party?"

"No, no, no - it's a par-_tay_" he corrected, "There's a difference" he explained when Merlin looked at him bemusedly.

"Well, why are you here then?"

"I was invited. And – hold on a sec" he turned away from him to pat a vivacious blonde woman on the shoulder, "Excuse me, my lady, but would you like to see how a real man uses his _sword_?" he asked her, to which he received a sharp slap across the face. Merlin couldn't help but smile – _did Gwaine really think that line would work on her?_

"Anyway, what was I saying?" he faced Merlin again, his cheek slightly pink but his enthusiasm still intact.

"Something about being invited…"

"Oh yes, right, I'm here with Lancelot anyway"

"Lancelot?" He looked around and saw him just a few tables away, surrounded by other knights.

"Yes, I'm helping him get over Gwen" he explained, signalling for Lancelot to come over.

He loped over but instead of joining them, he tapped the blonde Gwaine had unsuccessfully courted minutes before.

"Will you meet me in the courtyard at midnight? I'd like to see who's the most beautiful: you or the moonlight." He smoothly spoke to which she blushed.

"Gladly" she replied, giving him her hand to lead her away.

"Well, he actually doesn't need much help, he seems to know what to say…" Gwaine clarified, his face changing into one of envy.

"So, who else was _invited_?" Merlin wondered.

As soon as he said it, the door slammed open and who should walk in but Uther Pendragon. Everyone stopped what they were doing, the music faltered, and they looked at the royal arrival in alarm and disbelief.

"Now the par-_tay _don't start till I walk in!" he roared, singing the current song in his head, – 'TiK ToK' - making everyone relax and continue with their part-_tay_ing.

Then he held up his hands seriously, shushing them all.

"Can I hear a _whoop-whoop_?" he asked.

And they all whooped. And whooped. And whooped some more.

Uther made his way amongst the crowds, clapping shoulders with all the men and winking at the women on the tables – to which they bowed, allowing him to stare down their dresses.

He sat down on a plush red seat Merlin hadn't noticed, as though it had been placed there elaborately for his arrival. Everyone practically orbited around him now, his every wish was granted – he had had his goblet filled with ale, wenches swooning around him and men sharing jokes.

"You there" he directed to the musicians, "Play my song!"

Suddenly they whipped into a medieval rendition of 'Put Your Hands Up for Detroit', having previously been playing 'Poker Face'.

"Put your hands up" he began to sing along,

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP FOR _CAMELOT_ – A LOVELY CITY!" everyone joined in and Uther started to do the Robot. No wonder Arthur despised going to the banquets, _how embarrassing…_

That was until he saw Gaius doing the Macarena on top of a table. _I don't know him, _Merlin thought. He had to get away from him, away from this _all_.

"Gaius, I'm going to my chambers" he walked off into the direction of his room until a hand caught his shoulder.

"No, you can't go in there!" Gaius explained, panicked.

"Why not?"

"Because" he indicated to the door knob where a red ribbon had been hastily fastened, "When the red ribbon is up, it is in use"

It took Merlin a second to realise what Gaius was saying.

"You mean there are _people_ in there –"

"Whatever happens in that room; stays in that room" he stopped him, holding out his hands.

_Great,_ so now Merlin didn't even have the confines of his room to escape from all of _this._ He sat at a table near his room, waiting for an opportunity to take it over again.

"Mead?" A man's voice came from in front of him, clutching a tankard to his chest.

He turned and was confronted by his menacing eyes.

"Uh, no, thank you" he backed away from the man.

"I said, _mead_" this time it was more of an order than a question and Merlin took it so the man would leave him alone. _Geez, how was Gaius friends with such freaks_?

All of a sudden the door to his room thrust open and a knobbly man, with a fake crown on his head at an angle, jewellery bedraggled around his neck, a corset the wrong way round and a fan, lurched out, giggling gleefully.

"My lady" he bowed clumsily, to the woman's bare leg which was the only part of her sticking out the door, before making his way into the crowd. _Now was his chance to get his room back._

"Next." The woman invited, flicking her hair, cracking a whip against the door frame and slowly poking her body into view.

It was Morgana.

Merlin's first reaction had been shock – she was _alive_.

Then it was confusion – _what was she doing?_ She was dressed in a skimpy leather dress, which revealed _way _too much skin; a studded choker was wrapped around her neck; black stockings ran up to _just_ beyond her knees, where they were kept in place with studded suspenders. She twirled around to reveal there was no real back to her dress, therefore revealing her bottom which was only secured with a stringy thong – and Merlin had not wanted to see that…

He covered his face – and eyes – with the tankard of mead in his hand, knowing that if she saw him it would _not_ be good. What would he do? How could he get away without her noticing him?

No. He would talk to her.

Yes, that was what he would do, no matter how much he didn't want to, he _would _talk to her.

He got up and prepared to walk over to her when Gaius shot past him, holding up his tunic.

"Mine!" he cackled and ran into the room where Morgana waited, like a goblin after his gold.

The door closed swiftly, releasing dust, and the whole chambers shuddered.

_Great, his uncle not only blew his chance to talk to Morgana but he is now frolicking with her in his room!_

He took a swig of his mead for the first time, the cold beverage leaving a bitter bite in his mouth – it sure helped take the edge off his distress. The smoke swirled around him once more and he could feel himself becoming light-headed and – _all the pretty colours…_

He had to stop this.

_But first a nice cold tankard of mead…_

_

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_

Disclaimer: fortheloveofcamelot does not take any responsibility in any mental affliction that comes about from the reading of this fic...

**H****a! now you can't sue us! And even if you did... we don't have any money!**

**Please review (my weirdness and randomness needs to be acknowledged...)**


	2. The Morning After: OMG

**Hey, hey, I'm back! Just Simona here with another installment of this twisted tale of par-taying during the medieval time period - whoop whoop!**

**A quick word of warning: everyone within this story will be little bit OOC, although i will try and keep the main people as sane as is medievally possible. i hope.**

**Well, enjoy :}**

* * *

_Put your hands up; put your hands up, up, up, up, up…_

Merlin's eyes opened uneasily as the too bright light streamed into the room. He realised he was lying on the bed in his room, which was in complete disarray: there were streamers hanging from the walls, along with, "Best Par-tay Ever" which had been painted on (that would take _ages_ to clean off…); tankards of ale were piled up on the window sill; scraps of clothes were lying around on the floor, some that didn't even belong to him… The worst part was that he didn't remember any of it. Merlin tried to move his body but he ached all over and there seemed to be something holding him down.

Morgana.

He was in bed with _Morgana_. Her arm was on top of his chest, her head resting on his shoulder while he had one arm around her. _Oh, lord… _Slowly, he eased his arm out from under her, jostling her slightly, and sat up in the bed. _Why was he so sore_?

He felt something stiff on his arm and pulled up the sleeve of his shirt to disclose a bandage just below his shoulder. Removing it to assess the damage, he discovered a scabbed over tattooed love heart with the words: "Merlin & Morgana" in a light blue banner and below that: "FOREVER". He shuddered, it felt like a jail sentence – _how was he supposed to get rid of that_?

"Morning" came Morgana's voice as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

"Good morning" he answered anxiously, still freaked out about the tattoo – _he must have drunk more than he thought…_

Morgana suddenly brushed her hand over his tattoo, admiring it, "Do you like it?"

"Um… it's alright…"

"So, you don't like it, then?" She frowned.

"No, no, I didn't say that." He tried to think of something to get that frown off her face, "I mean, it's alright _now_ but once it heals it'll be… great." He gulped.

"Oh, I'm glad you like your wedding present." She hugged him tightly, making him wince.

"We-wedding present?" Merlin choked.

Morgana pulled away from him, looking at him with stern eyes, "Don't you remember?", to this Merlin shook his head, "We got married, silly." She held up her left hand which had a gold ring on the fourth finger along from the thumb.

That was when Merlin fainted.

* * *

Arthur looked at Gwen who was lying next to him on the picnic blanket, her head resting on the pillows.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" She appraised the rare sunny weather, before looking at him.

"Not as beautiful as you"

Gwen blushed and he leaned in, taking her lips onto his firmly.

"Sire" a man's voice, that he recognised, came from somewhere far away, but Arthur ignored it.

"Sire!" there it was again, only closer.

"Not now, Leon" he said as he pulled away, only to kiss Gwen again.

_Wait, Leon? _The dream faltered and vanished.

Arthur opened his eyes wide to find Sir Leon looking down at him while he seemed to be drooling on his pillow.

"Sorry, sire for interrupting your, ah, _beauty sleep_…" He smirked.

"Funny, Leon" Arthur wiped his mouth and propped himself up in his bed, "Now, what can I help you with?" He pulled back the covers and walked over to screen next to his wardrobe where his shirt and trousers, from yesterday, lay.

"It's about your father…"

"What about him?" he called from behind the screen.

"He's missing"

That stopped Arthur dead. He came out from behind the screen with a half buttoned up shirt.

"Have you searched the castle, gone through all the rooms?"

"Yes, yes, he's nowhere to be found"

"Well, where was he last night?"

"It seems that Gaius had a little gathering that your father attended" Leon loosely remembered the details.

"Then we'll start there" he buttoned up the rest of his shirt and went to put on his boots.

"Oh and sire, there is also a matter of this…" Leon handed Arthur a long, rolled up piece of parchment. Arthur read it, his eyes becoming more and more livid with every line.

"Sire, what is it?" Leon voiced his concern.

"Nothing, just something I have to deal with" _And deal with it he would…_

* * *

Merlin walked into the front room, having changed into his signature red shirt, jacket and trousers, as it seemed he had gone to bed in the clothes he was dressed in last night – a silky, collared shirt that had an emerald dragon on the back and fine black trousers; clothes which he hadn't started the night in…

He had promised Morgana some breakfast while she freshened up, and when he saw the state of the main room, he realised that was going to be a harder task than he had imagined: the front door had popped off one of its hinges and was resting at an angle; the walls were also covered in streamers with the words: "Just Married" and "Congratulations!" scrawled onto them; most of the tables were overturned and the chairs broken; the poison cupboard was still luckily intact; there were still kegs left unopened and some had burst to leave a puddle of ale on the floor; Uther's lavish seat had a Whoopee cushion and a lacy garter resting on it; _the poison cupboard was still intact, though_; Gaius's bed had been taken over by chips and playing cards and, as for Gaius himself, he was passed out in the corner against a keg with a chicken pecking at his tunic.

Merlin sat down at the only table which wasn't in utter disorder and tried to collect his thoughts which was difficult when the whole room smelled strongly of alcohol. When he had woken up his head had only been stiff; now it was mounting into a deadly headache which wasn't helping the fact that he still had to find out what had happened last night…

Arthur burst into the room, making the door whack against the wall before it popped off its hinges completely; scaring the chicken so that it ran across the room. He took in the chaos that was Gaius's chambers and Merlin sitting at the table, nursing a sore head.

"MERLIN!" Arthur chastised him, making him wince.

"Arthur, don't talk so loud…" His head pounded with every sound he made.

"WHY? Did someone happen to go spend the _whole_ night in the tavern after they finished their chores?" Arthur closed the distance between them until he stood over him.

Merlin looked up at him, his head still thumping, "Not exactly… although I did get into this frightful mess -"

"What? Couldn't pay for your drinks? Is that why you have a black eye?"

"WHAT? I have a black eye?" Merlin picked up a silver tray in front of him and inspected himself: he had a horrible purple-black bruise around one eye, a cut lip and a thin cut on one cheek.

"_I_ have a black eye!" Merlin repeated, slightly impressed.

"You have a black eye" Arthur confirmed.

"I… have a black eye!" Merlin finally remembered how it was you received black eyes, "My face! How did this happen?"

"I don't know, _Merlin_, why don't you tell me?" Arthur cleared his throat and unravelled the parchment which had been in his hand the whole time, "Does this refresh your memory?"

"What's that?" Merlin put the tray down, looking up at the lengthy paper.

"_This _is a bill addressed to me" He began to read it aloud, "To your Royal Pratness, you owe me, signed, _Merlin_" Arthur's eyes narrowed, "PS Gwaine says hi"

"Well…"

"_36_ tankards of ale, _7_ bottles of wine, _6 DOZEN _pickled eggs…"

"Gwaine's favourite…"

"So you _do_ remember?" Arthur looked down at him.

"Not exactly…" Merlin massaged his head, "Look, Arthur can we talk about this later, I -"

"Arthur!" Morgana came into the room, with wet hair and a towel securely around her body, smiling broadly.

"Morgana?" He looked her up and down before his eyes narrowed, "What are you doing in Merlin's room wearing _only_ a towel?" He looked down at Merlin who smiled anxiously.

"Oh, Arthur don't you know?" Morgana came up behind Merlin, patting his shoulders.

Arthur shook his head, taking in their peculiar closeness.

"We got married! I'm _Mrs. Merlin_ now" She wrapped her arms around Merlin head, making it that little bit more difficult to breathe.

Arthur's eyes narrowed and his right eye twitched as what Morgana had just revealed sunk into his head. Morgana didn't even notice.

"Morgana, why don't you go get dressed while Merlin and I have a little _chat_?" He ordered.

"Arthur, I hope this chat is not going to involve you yelling at my husband?"

The word husband sounded so natural coming off Morgana's lips, yet sounded so strange in the ears of Merlin and Arthur.

"Of course not" he assured her, _at least not a lot… _he added.

Morgana didn't believe him, "When I come back, I want Merlin to still be in the condition that _I_ left him in," she commanded, "I'll be back soon, okay, sugar plum?" She pecked Merlin on the cheek, glaring at Arthur as she sped back into Merlin's chambers.

Once Morgana had closed the door, Arthur's eye twitched even more furiously.

"Arthur, calm down" Merlin stood up and held his hands out in surrender, stepping away from the Prince.

Arthur took a deep breath and for a minute he looked normal… but it was not meant to be.

"_YOU _MARRIED MY SISTER?" He bellowed as he found a goblet and chucked it at Merlin's head.

"I was drunk – I didn't know what I was doing!" Merlin defended himself, dodging the goblet.

"That's not an excuse, Merlin" Arthur lobbed a chair leg at him.

"Look, it's all a big misunderstanding" Merlin ducked as the chair leg crashed into the window behind him, "I don't love her"

"Then why the hell did you marry her?" He hurled a book at Merlin.

"I told you – I was drunk! I mean wouldn't you marry your sister if _you_ were drunk?" Merlin ducked again as the book flew through the now broken window.

"What kind of question is that?"

"Oh, don't you start – you married a cow when you were drunk!" Merlin remembered that night well and always knew that one day he would be able to use that incident to his advantage.

"That's different" Arthur tossed another chair leg for bringing that incident up.

"How is it?" Merlin ducked again.

"Are you calling my sister a _cow_?" He yelled, seeming to have become very protective over Morgana.

"No! At least I managed to marry another _human_… and a _female_ at that"

"Shut up, Merlin" Arthur flung another chair leg at him to finish the discussion.

"Look, hitting me with inanimate objects won't resolve anything" The chair leg hit Merlin's shoulder – _great, another bruise…_

"No, but it'll make me feel better" Arthur puffed, "Look, after we find my father, he'll fix this… _situation_ with you and Morgana. Although it won't be easy, I don't think I've ever seen her quite so happy"

Merlin became conscious of the fact that he too had never seen her like this, "Wait, what do you mean by '_after we find_' your father?"

"He's missing" Arthur told him.

"Well, have you searched the castle?"

"Yes"

"Gone through all the rooms?"

"Yes" Arthur answered slightly annoyed.

"Even the dungeons?"

"Just _what_ would my father be doing in the dungeons?" Arthur asked, folding his arms.

"Hey, it was a wild par-tay, anything's possible – I mean, I ended up getting married…" Merlin shook his head, still not able to get his head around it.

"So… who was the best man?" Arthur rocked on his heels.

"W-What?"

"At your wedding, who was the best man?" Arthur looked at him, his eyes telling Merlin that this was a big deal.

"I don't know! Um, possibly Gwaine?"

Arthur pitched another book at Merlin that hit him square in the chest, winding him.

"And to think I was going to have _you_ as my best man…" He muttered, shaking his head.

"Really?" Merlin looked at him hopefully.

"No, I'll just get _Gwaine_ to do it!" Arthur mocked.

"Arthur what's this really about?" Merlin asked, knowing there was something else that was really bugging him.

"How come I didn't get a say in this marriage? I mean, Morgana's my sister and you're my manservant…"

"Well, you weren't invited to the par-_tay_" Merlin explained.

"And why wasn't I invited?" He picked up a chair leg menacingly.

"Why don't you ask Gaius?" Merlin pointed to the figure still slumped in the corner.

They both went over to Gaius's little sleeping corner, Arthur still holding the chair leg. Gaius had his thumb in his mouth and was mumbling things in his sleep.

"Gaius…" Merlin shook him. Gaius's head popped up immediately with a wide grin on his face. Arthur squealed, dropping the chair leg. Merlin looked back at Arthur who shot the manservant a look that said, _if you value your life you won't tell anyone about this…_

"Gaius…" Merlin shook him, knowing that he was still asleep – he always did this in the morning… Gaius head slumped again, his thumb finding its way back in his mouth.

"Gaius!" he shook him more briskly.

"Grunhilda, what strong hands you have…" Gaius murmured.

"Who's Grunhilda?" Arthur asked from behind Merlin.

"Lady Elena's 'charming' nursery maid" Merlin smiled as Arthur snorted.

"Come on, Gaius, time to get up" Merlin shook his uncle even more vigorously.

"Aw, do I have to? I'm so comfortable here, next to you…" He wrapped Merlin's hand in his.

"GAIUS! GET UP NOW! CAMELOT IS BURNING!" Arthur bellowed.

Gaius shot up immediately, head butting Merlin into Arthur. They fell about on the floor as Gaius looked around his chambers looking for the source of the fire.

"Wait a minute, there's no fire…" Gaius concluded before he spotted Merlin, who was lying on top on Arthur, groaning.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything…" He looked down at the two knowingly, always having suspected there was something _more_ between them…The pair looked at each other in alarm and then slid off each other, both voicing their disgust.

"Gaius, I just fell over onto Arthur, nothing else…" Merlin explained as he rose to his feet, massaging his sore head. Arthur brushed himself off.

"Uh huh, sure, that's what they all say…" Gaius replied, arms folded, "Now, what did you wake me for?"

"It's my father, Gaius, he's missing" Arthur explained, "Sir Leon told me that he was here last night"

"Yes, he was. Is that all you wanted to know?" Gaius walked over to the table and sat down. He was so irritable in the morning.

"When was the last time you saw him?" Arthur walked over to the table with Merlin following him like a puppy.

"Um, I… can't remember…" He searched around his head for any memories of the previous night but none came.

"I think it was around 3 in the morning" Morgana said as she waltzed into the room wearing a silky, green dress, with beaded, emerald dragons on the bodice. Her hair was dry and the curls cascaded around her face and down her back.

"Wow" Merlin exclaimed, and then blushed, "Is that a new dress?"

"Do you seriously not remember anything, Merlin?" She walked up to him; "This is my wedding present from you" She touched the tip of his nose; he winced, as it was sore too.

Arthur picked up the bill and read to see if that dress was on it – _of course it was…_

"Wait a minute – 1 custom tattoo" he saw as he looked further down the list for the first time, "Spill." He looked at Merlin, folding up the bill.

Merlin sighed as he rolled up his sleeve, unmasking his still-healing tattoo.

Arthur laughed his little arrogant head off, wiping tears from his eyes.

Morgana looked at him disapprovingly, "Well, I think it's sweet" She pulled Merlin's sleeve back down and wrapped her arm in his.

Arthur took a deep breath, "No, you're right, it is very sweet… sugar plum." A new wave of giggles escaped from Arthur's lips. Morgana gave him a death stare which shut him up immediately.

"Gaius, you sexy beast…"

All three of them turned to look at Gaius, who had picked up the tray in front of him and had styled his hair into a quiff, winking at himself.

"What?" He turned to them once he noticed all their eyes on him.

"Anyway…" Arthur continued as though Gaius hadn't said anything, "Morgana, you seem to be the only one who remembers anything from the previous night" Arthur commented, "Why is that?"

"I wasn't drinking – I needed to keep a clear head for the auditions"

"What auditions?" Merlin asked.

"For this years pantomime, Peter Pan – what did _you_ think was going on in your room?"

Merlin laughed nervously, "Nothing… but why were you wearing that outfit?"

"Because we're doing a nitty-gritty, burlesque version – I'm one of the lost boys"

"And I'm Tinker Bell!" Gaius interjected, beaming. He'd already changed his hairstyle into a Mohawk, "Oh this look is so you…" He complimented himself.

"Right…" Arthur said, "And around what time was this?"

"That was soon after I finished my chores, so near the beginning of the evening" Merlin clarified.

"So what happened next?" Arthur enquired.

They turned expectantly towards Morgana.

* * *

**Oooh, juicy! don't ya just love cliff-hangers?**

**Please review and tell me how much of a scoundrel i am for using a cliff-hanger and how my little ficlet is getting weirder and un-funny... :/ but you still love me, though, and think i'm amazing and... (head inflates so much it pops) dammit, i just got a new one! :P**

**Til next time (which could be a week, 4 weeks, 3 months, a year even; it could even be a sunday, a thursday, an afternoon, 2 am, 7.35pm - whenevr it is, be prepared) - i'll be back, like the terminator. *muahahaha* xx**


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